We haven’t had an ugly car of the week for a few weeks now (but who’s counting?), time to change that. Remember that ugly Porsche 917 wannabee piece of crap 1969 Elite Enterprises Laser 917 kit car? Can anything be even uglier? Well guys and gals, the answer unfortunately is YES!
I vaguely remember when these were been sold in California and always thought they looked stupid and sounded even more stupid. Why the hell would anyone put an anemic piece of crap Volkswagen Bug engine into something that’s supposed to be a poor man’s Ferrari? I’ll tell you; because they were all losers, had no class and…. their friends think they’re cool because they are dumb as well. There you go, I’m not opinionated!!!.
So, let’s analyze this 1974 piece of junk WTF Sterling wannabee Ferrari. Out of fairness to other ugly Sterlings out there this one is a notch uglier than most, truly a WTF amusement park Sterling. Maybe that’s where it came from? Definitely a budget loser hack job!
Where do we start? Let’s look at the good things first as that’s a lot easier and quicker to talk about. It’s low, I like the color and it reminds me of the 99 cent Hot Wheels ugly crap you can buy at Walmart. Little degenerate kids will think you are cool. That’s cool for me as well, I like being cool. COOL is in! And hey, getting stupid doors that let the rain in when you open them is normally only available to rich kids that own Gullwing Mercedes or Lamborghini Countachs. Here’s stupid on the cheap.
OK, now the bad. Where did those ugly bumpers come from? They remind me of the bumpers on my $2,000 John Deere lawn tractor although they seem to be a smaller diameter, saves weight I guess. I sure wouldn’t want to hit a plastic garbage can, might damage something. Rear window louvers? They look like a modern Formula 1 front wing with all the swoops and angles. Ughh!
The stance is very awkward as well with the front valance only an inch from the ground and the back jacked up a good 10 inches or so. I suppose that if you could run this crap wagon at about 200 mph that the wing effect might give you decent downforce (look at the stance on a modern Formula 1 car) but really , what is this piece of crap capable of, maybe 70mph on a perfect day? Maybe?
The interior looks like it was designed by the degenerate kid that thinks this car is really cool. This is high school shop class stuff. The shifter looks like it came out of an effing Mack truck, I made better looking pulls for my cheap cabinets in the basement. Fake vinyl wood gives a touch of class however. Going with the amusement park theme, I can see this car working well as a peddle boat. Maybe when the engine dies this would be a good conversion.
This blue Sterling is just ugly. Can a Sterling look good? Well, I’ll leave that decision up to you. The red one below that recently sold actually looks OK.
I’ve wasted enough time on this, would you buy one of these?