WTF Mazda Miata

I think that most MGB owners have a lot of respect for the Mazda Miata. Certainly the Miata is what the MGB could have become if development had continued. Oh well, a 1991 MGB Miata would likely have failed if they had tried as the British still would have used 1950’s technology to get the job done.

Regardless of whether you like Mazda Miatas or not it’s horrible to see them get butchered. Look at this piece of shit. I know that it runs because this mess passed me on the I-10 freeway while I was approaching Palm Springs. Fortunately (or unfortunately) an accident managed to shut down the freeway giving me a full 4 hours to appreciate the fine craftsmanship of the vehicle.

That’s 4 full hours to take it in, 4 hours to wonder why anyone would do this, 4 hours of boredom, 4 wasted hours in the desert sun. Here’s my report.

An interesting smell was coming out of the ratty cockpit, a little like Burger King laced with brake fluid. The driver ate from one of those clam shell styrofoam add to global warming and kill the planet boxes, at least he was planning for the stoppage and had bought food. Could it be that’s where the brake fluid smell was coming from? Remind me not to eat at Burger King… or was it McDonald’s? Either way, a toxic waste dump on wheels.

Let’s analyze the minor modifications to this awesome crap wagon. Most noticeable are the rear fender flares harboring wide cheappy tires on bent racing rims. I expect the flares are fiberglass but they look as though they were made from playdough, maybe these are just the unfinished forms for the real fenders. A red rattle can finished off the exceptional bodywork. Inside the rear fenders are some very spiffy Mazda Racing rims with fat tires at such an angle that from the back it appears as though only a portion of the tire touches the ground. Tire rotation is likely required at regular intervals to keep this baby happy.

The front end has the requisite spoiler, nicely ground down by running too close to the road. Body panel alignment is a little off but it’s very possible that this close to being restored piece of shit isn’t finished yet. Maybe it is, who knows?

I do like the caution tape applied to the front bumper, probably there to warn oncoming traffic to avoid the car as it wanders around the highway with what must be perfect alignment. I didn’t photograph the right front but parts of it were held together by leather lacing, very classy. The paint match, I’ve seen better but I guess it could be worse.

How about the luggage rack? You would think that one suitcase could be thrown in the trunk but my guess is that the space is taken up with either illicit drugs or maybe lots of spare Miata parts to keep our cruiser happy. It’s interesting that the suitcase is held in place with only a few bungee cords but I’ve seen worse. What this all does to fuel economy I have no idea.

Overall this is one ugly car. Could it be worse? Have you seen worse? Post your stories and photos below, the competition begins!